Lemony Snicket Appreciation Post (Part 8)

Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.
- Lemony Snicket

Pietrisycamollaviadelrechiotemexity.
- Lemony Snicket

I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms.
- Lemony Snicket

Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make -- bombs, for instance, or strawberry shortcake -- if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble. Making assumptions simply means believing things are a certain way with little or no evidence that shows you are correct, and you can see at once how this can lead to terrible trouble. For instance, one morning you might wake up and make the assumption that your bed was in the same place that it always was, even though you would have no real evidence that this was so. But when you got out of your bed, you might discover that it had floated out to sea, and now you would be in terrible trouble all because of the incorrect assumption that you'd made. You can see that it is better not to make too many assumptions, particularly in the morning.
- Lemony Snicket

The key to good eavesdropping is not getting caught.

- Lemony Snicket